Open Letter To A Dirty Bastard

This is addressed to the son of a bitch who sold my wife a sick puppy, no play on words intended.

First, the good news. The puppy survived, no thanks to you. When he started vomiting, three days after my wife brought him home, she was concerned enough to get him to the pet clinic right away. We assumed he had eaten something that made him sick. We also have two cats; perhaps, we thought, he had ingested some of the cat litter that had gotten scattered around on the floor near the cats' food dish, since he does like to nosh on the cats' food, and dogs, after all, will eat just about anything.

But no, that wasn't it. Even the vet said that having eaten something he wasn't supposed to probably wouldn't have caused such protracted vomiting. He was nearly dehydrated. I left him at the clinic and came on home.

They called an hour later. The dog had parvo virus. The incubation period for parvo virus is at least three days, which means the dog had parvo virus when you sold him to my wife. It also means that the other dogs you're keeping on your property, and selling to other people in our community, probably have it too. So what did you say when we called you up and told you about it? You denied that the dog could possibly have parvo virus. You refused to pay for any part of his treatment, but offered to take him back across the border to Mexico where you got him from, and take him to a veterinarian there, "Where they're cheaper."

Bullshit. If we had returned that puppy to you, you would have tossed him back into your back yard and let him die along with the other dogs you have, who are probably dying now.

But what do you care? You'll just drive back down across the border and round up another bunch of strays for sale, won't you? Nice, lucrative business you have there, hanging around supermarket parking lots, selling sick dogs to people. Why screw up something that pays so well?

I went and spoke with the director of the local animal shelter. You're quite well known in this area. Lots of people have complained about your shenanigans. Since you speak Spanish, you prey particularly on low-income Spanish-speakers who may want pets for their children but can't afford to pay breeder's prices. So these people take puppies home, who promptly get sick, and since their owners can't afford to pay a vet, they die. Happy kids. Nice guy.

Your filthy business has been covered in the press, but I'm told you're not doing anything illegal. Yet. There is a bill pending in the state legislature that would penalize people who do what you do. The moment the Humane Society is empowered to nail bastards like you, I hope they get you first.

Merry Christmas, you asshole. I hope one of those strays in Mexico turns on you and tears your heart out. If he can find it.