The Dawn Of A New Day In America

I typed that headline with my own two fingers: "The Dawn Of A New Day in America."

And now that I've had a few minutes to wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes, it's time to play that fun game I was playing late last week when it did indeed look as if the Democrats were going to take all the marbles this year.

The game is, see if you can find something good in any of this.

Last week, if you'll remember, I was able to think of three good things coming out of a Barack Obama victory in the presidential election:

1. No one would be able to get away with calling America a "racist country" any more.

2. As a direct result of #1, both Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson would have to go out and get a real job.

3. For the next eight years we won't have to look at the Clintons.

But doggone, wouldn't you know it, a can-do optimist such as myself can always find another silver lining in what any sane person would realize is a pretty sad situation. True, Obama and his Gang of Four (Pelosi, Reid, Frank and Kennedy) will get busy quickly appointing ultra-liberal judges with no interest in the Constitution except twisting it to further the left-wing agenda; the aforesaid politboro will tighten the screws on anyone who opposes the abuses of the big labor unions and do away with secret union ballots so the Big Labor fat cats can more easily intimidate union voters; they will also bring back the so-called "Fairness Doctrine," which will enable them to shut down talk radio and silence any and all opposition voices in the country; they'll quadruple your taxes to pay for more giveaway programs in which they will be the ones who decide who gets the goodies; they'll abandon Iraq to Al Qaida and they'll weaken our national defense in the name of making other nations "like" us better, thereby inviting another Sept. 11,because anyone who thinks talking nice to Islamofascists will make them purr like kittens is nuts. They'll nationalize health insurance so you have to wait eight months to see a doctor, stifle initiative by regulating business large and small to death, and for dessert, don't be surprised if they gin up some kind of national "hate speech" law which will codify and make official what they already think: that anyone who disagrees with anything they say is spreading "hate speech." Who knows but that I and all the other bloggers in America who express conservative ideas may be in prison by 2010.

Eight years ago the lefty bloggers were saying similar things about George W. Bush, that is when they were able to shove their tongues and eyeballs back into their heads. Now it's our turn to have the fun of "speaking truth to power."

Hey, last night millions of you were all cheering for this, Mr. and Ms. America. We'll see how you feel about it in a couple of years.

But I was going to discuss another silver lining to this cloud.

Well, yeah, actually it's a biggie. Listen, folks. When the Democrats are finished with their postelection bacchanalia and are looking at their bloodshot eyes in the bathroom mirror while they reach for the Pepto-Bismol, it's only going to be a matter of moments before they come to an awful realization.

Nobody has anyone but them to blame now.

Washington becomes a one-party town in January. The Democrats will control all three branches of government. Totally. While that gives them carte blanche to build their queasy brand of socialism, let's keep something else in mind: no one has dared to whisper this throughout the entire campaign as Obama went around promising pie in the sky to everybody, but history has spoken pretty clearly on this subject, to wit, socialism has been a miserable failure everywhere it's been tried. And I'm not just talking about the Soviet Union. I'm talking about everywhere it's been tried. There is no recorded instance of a country's economy and its people prospering in a situation where the government held the reins of everything, regulating and nationalizing to its heart's content. Socialism always causes initiative to drop, productivity to sink, inefficiency to burgeon, capital to flee and quality of goods to deteriorate. Did you ever hear of anyone wanting to buy any product from the Soviet bloc except vodka, caviar or weapons? There was a reason for that, you know.

You're waiting for me to come to the silver lining, aren't you? Actually, I mentioned it above: nobody will have anyone to blame but the Democrats when things go down the crapper. The Republicans will be in any practical sense, gone. They won't be in charge of anything.

Oh, dear, dear, dear. What on earth are the poor media going to do? Without the Republicans around to blame everything on, who are they going to blame?

Well, let's see. The last time I checked the numbers, roughly 91 percent of all this nation's journalists were registered Democrats. Anyone care to make book that when things go down the crapper, the media will blame someone other than the Democrats?

I'd say that's probably the best bet since taking the Yankees over Pittsburgh in the 1927 World Series.

I'm going to go out on a limb and make a fearless forecast here. When the young man who saw the presidency as a learning experience and persuaded America to let him have the job by means of a silver tongue and massive amounts of Internet-generated gold steps on his crank, (and he's bound to) one of three things will happen. The media will:

(a) Ignore it.

(b) Insist it was no big deal and that "everybody" does it.

or

(c) Claim their Chosen One is the victim of a vast right-wing conspiracy. (And, by the way, since the circumstances will allow them to add this particular frosting to the cupcake, they'll also claim it's a "racist" conspiracy.)

However, even with "racist" added to it as a bonus point, this last expedient might not fly as well as it did a decade ago, because the Republicans really will be out of power. Kind of hard to make a "vast conspiracy" out of a bunch of guys who are figuratively hanging around the union hall sucking up the free coffee and swapping thigh-slappers about the old days.

And if the economy tanks, or what's more likely, stagnates, with inflation and unemployment both soaring to truly Jimmy Carter levels, since periods of heavy government interference with the free market usually do result in sluggish, stagnant economies, the media will:

(a) Ignore it.

(b) Put on a happy face and try to tell everyone that the economy is really rosy.

(c) Run lots and lots of stories about when things were worse,

or

(d) Call in panels of "experts" who will figure out a way to claim that the downturn actually began with the previous administration and hence, the Republicans are to blame.

By the way, the media did NOT do this, or anything like it, in 2001 when the economy was in trouble, although it was as clear as day that the recession had begun in March, 2000, when Clinton was still president and Bush's election was seven months away. The fact that the 2001 recession had begun on Clinton's watch was loudly ignored by all but the conservative media.

But no matter. It's going to be fun to watch. Remember "You won't have Dick Nixon to kick around any more?" A lot of people on both sides of the aisle were sorry, I'm sure, that Nixon didn't make good on that threat. Perhaps he should have. While it would have meant passing up his turn to be president, he sure as hell would have had the last laugh.

And, mark my words, somebody's going to have the last laugh. And I would also make book that it won't be Pelosi, Reid or any other member of the soon-to-be-politboro running America.

Stick around. After the agony, this might be good for some laughs.